Community Mom

I kept on mentioning my father in this journal, when in fact I'm closer to mother. It's not that I have a favorite between parents. I love them both and appreciate them both, but it's my mother whom I turn to when I have something to say or ask about stuff. When there's a problem? I just solve it by myself, ask my partner, or probably seek the help of friends (rarely).

My mother is very personable, outgoing - with the way I see her deal with colleagues, relatives (immediate or distant), and even amongst ourselves in the family. She takes things lightly even if she's carrying the world on top of her endurance-tested shoulders. But all this friendly disposition has changed - heightened, if I may say so.

A couple of years after her early retirement from more than twenty years of employment, she has set up a family business (it opened nearly one year ago). It was an internet shop (we call it a business center and gaming hub) located just a few steps away from home. The internet-using community has been growing and my brother (an online game addict) suggested he would help her in this business. With my mom's learnings from the workplace (systematic operations, cleanliness, customer-orientedness) matched with my brother's knowledge on computers (i.e., gaming and programs), it was a joint effort aimed at perfection. The place is well-lit, accommodating, spacious (from mother's efforts). It had a lot of game offerings, fast speed, and all brand-new computers (brother's ideas). Two other internet shops have closed in the neighborhood as customers flocked to the newly opened shop. My brother actually persuaded a lot of his fellow gamers in the old shop where he used to play to switch and get better service, better features in our family-owned internet shop. All this has a down side - lengthly queues and annoyingly long customer waiting time.

Now enter's mom. Knowing each and every detail of loyal clients every time they chit-chat - their life struggles, dreams, frustrations, and beliefs. This guy's muslim, he doesn't eat pork. This guy gets beaten up by his dad because he stays too long in the internet shop. This guy has an American dad, he wants to go to the States to look for him and ask him why he left him in the Philippines. This girl owns a boutique store in a nearby bazaar, she sells different beauty products for a low price. A lot of females find this guy attractive, I actually think he's cute too - he's also an honor student - he's a work hard play hard person because even if he plays online games for long hours, he still manages to have good grades. I don't like this guy, he brags about his winnings and cheats on the online games. This one's from Iloilo, you can notice it in his accent - and I also greet him in Bisaya sometimes. These three people are friends, they usually go there at ten in the evening and stay there for three hours and go home from the internet shop at one in the morning - sometimes they even drink on the sidestreet to chat about their problems. This guy left their house and packed his bags because his auntie has disowned him - that's why he's very thankful our shop's still open as long as there are customers because he can sleep on the sofa while he waits for the sun to rise and then he goes to school.

And the list goes on. The catalog of personal stories and information build up endlessly at an increasing rate. Her public presence has grown that she knows a good deal of neighborhood gossip that can range from trivial to earth-shattering to life-changing.

But, rather than feel bothered or affected by this, I actually like it. I've always been teasing her that she knows everything about the people in the neighborhood (starting with her shop customers), and she's become very popular (a village celebrity?). Everybody calls her "Tita" (Auntie), and everybody got really comfortable with her presence.

She was never a strict and harsh mom to begin with, so I guess she's really likeable. There are some instances though that if we behaved the same way as those kids, she wouldn't have tolerated it. Some of the teens actually tell her stories with matching cusses and swear words. She never heard such from her own kids - never. But she understands those stories and swear words from her loyal customers - comforts them, lends an ear (or two). She's like a second mother to them - a go-to figure for troubles, problems, internal pain and suffering, even family issues (some are really really sensitive though, like those mentioned above).

The power of relationship-building has paid off in recent events. She has opened, just two months ago, a deli / food shack that is mainly targeted to mothers - with offerings such as sandwiches, pizza, sausages, and beverages appropriate for kids' baon (school snacks). But her first customers weren't the moms. They were the internet kids - just having a fun time together after playing some online games, or an after-school meeting place / hang-out place while queues are unbearable in the internet shop. It's also located very near our house and the internet shop.

The food in the deli is semi-gourmet (sausages are premium, pizza uses mozzarella - not the ordinary / cheddar cheese, sandwiches have hefty fillings - not the economy one-spread types). Right now word has gotten to several moms already and have started ordering from the deli. Though income has been fluctuating day by day, it has been growing one business period after another (it was just today that she got her highest gross sales ever in a day).

About the internet shop, I asked her one time, those teens might not last - they will move out of your business eventually. They would get tired of gaming, get serious in school or have their own jobs when they grow older. That could just be a human phase that you're catering. Her reply was this, "I take care of the children. I know this and that, I know what they like, don't like. I am their friend. They already start playing games - even if they rent the computers much shorter than the teens because they couldn't afford long-playing modes at this time. When they grow older, they're the next batch of hardcore gamers. They will be my eventual source of business". Sounds quite creepy, but very reasonable too.

Yes, some of the gamers' moms have already approached her because it is a serious issue that some of the kids cut class and just spend a lot of time in the internet shop instead of staying at home during the weekends. I've heard her say this several times. "Instead of doing drugs, just being out on the streets or hanging around with outsiders, you know they're just out there to have some fun, a little bit of entertainment. It's safe for you to know they're just around the corner." Well, it does make sense. I would be pretty convinced if I would be any other mom - any other type of mom.

I just like to say that I'm really proud of her. And I know I'll tell her that one of these days. Probably Mothers' Day next year. I'm sure she knows deep inside that's the way I feel anyway, I don't need to say it out loud.